It’s been a little while since my last post. I have a bunch of ideas in my head but then when I try to write I feel like I keep saying the same things! I don’t always want to talk about negative experiences and having to grow from them becasue my life consists of so much more than that, but I do want to talk about the struggles I’ve experienced growing up trying to figure out what the difference is between being confident and cocky. I’m not sure I have figured that out yet but I think I have learned a few things that I want to share.
Although these both are internal feelings that we all experience I noticed that you can usually tell the difference by the way you treat other people. Being cocky isn’t just what we see the “mean girls” do in the Disney channel movies. Cockiness is putting yourself before everyone else and thinking you are better. It can come off as being rude, judgemental, obnoxious “show offs” and blowing people off. I have done all those things but didn’t think I was being cocky until I was on the other side being around someone else acting like that and it made me feel pretty worthless. It’s pretty horrible when you try to talk to someone whose responses just make you feel like you have been dismissed and you mean nothing to them.
But having confidence is being so secure in who you are that it makes you want to help others feel good about themselves too. When you are confident it doesn’t matter who is watching or expecting you to behave a certain way, you do the RIGHT thing and you value others. I also think that confident people realize they aren’t perfect and admit their mistakes, but cocky people act as if they are perfect and think that admitting they did something wrong makes them weak.
There was a time when I first became Miss Hummelstown that I legitimately was afraid to tell people because I didn’t want to sound cocky. I was paranoid everytime my mom took a picture because even though I knew that reason I wanted to be Miss Hummelstown didn’t have to do with wearing a crown I felt so judged! How terrible is that?? I know that sometimes in the past I had misjudged people for being confident and I was afraid people would do the same thing to me. Until I got comfortable in that position and confident knowing I was where God wanted me to be. I definitely didn’t feel like I was better than anyone else and I can honestly say the best part about doing it was seeing the smiles on little kids faces when I would color with them at the Christmas event or pass out Easter eggs (okay okay and riding in the mayor’s convertible was also one of my favorites…but I don’t think that makes me cocky, right?).
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that being confident is so much better on both sides than being cocky. And listen it’s okay to let people see the great things happening in your life! We should all be happy for one another instead of making it a competition or judging. Sometimes we just have to check ourselves. If you hurt someone’s feelings trying to come off as being better/prettier/smarter/more important than them or dismissing them, try to make it right. Think about how you want others to treat you and then try to do that yourself. I have literally stopped myself mid text message or conversation and thought, wow, I’m coming across like a jerk right now so I need to back off. That can be hard when we are feeling defensive or attacked but that’s where we have to have confidence and be comfortable with who we are and understand we don’t have to prove anything. Sometimes the best answer is not to tell everyone how right and awesome you are, but to tell someone else how valuable they are. It’s a learning process like everything else I have blogged about. Practice makes perfect, right?