Girls really aren’t as mysterious as you guys make us out to be. My friends and I wonder why it seems like it’s like pulling teeth sometimes to get guys to understand what we really want. I know most girls drop a lot of hints to guys when they like them. Guys, no offense, but I know you are kind of oblivious sometimes so I’m going to try to help you. 🙂
So this blog post goes out to all you guys crushing on on a girl and you aren’t really sure what to do about it. It’s also going out to the guys who think a girl’s heart is a toy to be played with for your own selfish enjoyment. Maybe if you see a different perspective, you will change the way you treat us. I’m no relationship expert, these are just my own personal thoughts so it isn’t a foolproof plan for every girl (and might I add some girls just do not want a serious relationship no matter how amazing you are, so be patient) but when you’re trying to win over a girl’s heart here’s a few things you boys should know…
Let her know how you feel about her. Don’t make her guess which leads to overthinking. And yes, then we kinda freak out when that happens. Girls can’t read minds and sometimes boys give mixed signals without even realizing they are doing it (yeah yeah I know girls do this, too, and we are working on it). We are still young and trying to have relationships along with everything else we are doing can be tricky. Be honest. Let her know if you like her and what you are looking for, such as a friendship that could grow into a relationship or if you would like to take her out on a date, etc. Don’t be afraid to take things slow.
If you tell her something, your actions better back it up, boo. If you tell her you like her and want to spend more time to get to know her, please DO IT. Girls hate it when guys are good talkers over the phone, but as soon as you hang out in person they act like you have cooties. Not cool. Guys, if you feel a little awkward just relax and be yourself.
Also make sure you aren’t treating her like an option. We really don’t want to feel like we have to compete with other girls for your attention if you say you are interested in us. Girls are smart and we know what’s really up. We can usually tell when guys are lying. So if you say you want to be friends, be our friend, if you say you want to see other people, then just let us know and if you would like to consider dating just us exclusively, tell us that, too. That way nobody is wasting anybody else’s time or having hurt feelings trying to figure out where they stand. Let your actions back up your words.
Treat her like she is a priority. No girl wants to constantly take a backseat to your boys and everything else you have going on. Yes we totally get you need bro time but constantly ignoring us or backing out of plans with us to hang “FTB” gets annoying and it hurts if it continues happening on a regular basis. If a girl snaps or texts you, try to respond in a decent amount of time, don’t just ignore her. We literally will sit there wondering what we did wrong when it’s probably nothing.
Do not lie to her so you don’t hurt her feelings or make her mad. And don’t be one of those people who text her back whenever you feel like it and if she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem. If you’re busy and can’t text back just tell her, she will probably understand and appreciate that much more than if you just don’t answer her or leave her Snap on read. And if you don’t want to have a relationship with her tell her that, too so she doesn’t feel stupid. Talk about it and don’t just ignore her. Just like I said above, communication is so important.
If you really like this girl, take the time to get to know everything about her. This includes her family, her favorite things, everything. Girls don’t want a guy that constantly talks about himself, but we also don’t want someone who is closed off. While you get to know her, let her get to know you, too. What’s your favorite ice cream or what movie makes you laugh uncontrollably or what is that one home-cooked meal that you love or stories from your childhood. Ask her lots of questions and then listen! Eventually get to the point where you ask her the hard questions and have the conversations that will help you grow together. But don’t ever use information against her, that’s a BIG no. If she tells you things in confidence thinking you won’t share them no matter how things end up between you, don’t use them against her in the future. Be a guy she can trust.
Whether friends or more with a girl, please don’t take her for granted. And say you do end up dating, even when you do, treat her like you don’t have her. Surprise her. Make her laugh. Pray for her on her good and her bad days. Text her something sweet just because. No girl cares if you have been best friends or dating for six days or six years, you should make an effort to have fun with her. Now there’s still going to be arguments and misunderstandings and there are gonna be times you don’t even wanna look at each other, but don’t walk away and give up on her. If you truly want her in your life, you won’t give up when it’s hard or uncomfortable.
Don’t be blind to an amazing girl and realize it too late. Some guys don’t understand that the girl who would love them and put up with all their craziness is right in front of them. Don’t play games with her because if you don’t go for it, eventually someone else will. It’s sad when you realize what you could have had together but then it’s too late.
Don’t be that guy.
If you get to know her, you like her and she is down for you 110%, don’t screw her over thinking you can do better. That’s dumb. At our age, loyal guys and girls are hard to find so when you connect with someone and you are working on a relationship, don’t walk away over something petty or selfish. Talk out the misunderstandings and be honest about how you are feeling.
Hang out with her and talk to her any chance you get. Girls love when you have even just an hour on a busy day to have something to eat, grab a quick nap or even just drive around listening to music. It shows us that no matter how busy you are, you still want to see us. And we get there are days when you just don’t have time or our schedules don’t match up, but stopping by or calling to say hi or watching us at a game shows us we are a priority. For me personally in past relationships, including friendships, I looooove spending time with the people I’m close to. Now I’m not clingy and don’t expect to be with them 24/7, but I find it very sweet when I know someone’s schedule and know how busy they are, yet they still fit in some time to spend with me.
Don’t use girls for sexual things. I REPEAT DON’T USE HER. This is the worst thing you can do to a girl’s self esteem. Please I’m actually begging you to understand how awful it feels to know that a guy is just interested in you for your body and drops you as soon as he realizes that’s not an option you are offering. I think in past blogs I’ve hit on this topic and I’ve shared how degrading and hurtful it is when you think a guy actually likes you as a person only to find out he’s only interested in one thing. Please guys, if you hear anything, know that being treated like that hurts a lot. Even if your relationship moves past friendship, don’t pressure a girl into something she doesn’t want to do. Respect her. Automatically expecting her to do sexual things is not cool and shouldn’t be a thing ever.
If you do date and things eventually get serious, love her unconditionally and pray for her even if she’s being a little brat. I’m 99.999% sure she isn’t trying to be rude to you or make you feel bad, she just is most likely insecure and is feeling uncomfortable so she gets angry with you. When she apologizes accept it and don’t keep bringing it up. You aren’t perfect and neither is she so don’t keep score of everything and try to “get even” with her when she messes up.
Don’t act like an “f boy”. You may get temporary attention from girls being like that but in the long run all you do is cause a lot of hurt so just stop doing that. Don’t ignore a girl all day and then snap her something sexual at 11pm. I promise you she will feel disrespected and not very valued as much as you think it may come off as a compliment. For me personally, if you wouldn’t say something in front of your mom, then please don’t be saying it to me. Sure, I like to get complimented on being pretty, smart, cute and a kind person. But to be honest, that’s not really the kind of “compliments” girls usually receive nowadays. Listen, just respect her and let her know you like a lot of other things about her like her smile, her personality and the things that make her special.
I know a lot of this stuff applies to guys AND girls, but I wanted to share my thoughts on the subject for any of you guys who may be wondering why girls act the way we do sometimes. And I’m not speaking on behalf of every girl, but I do hope I cleared up a few things about what we typically like and don’t like from the guys in our lives.
Peace out friends and boys, I can’t wait to hear all the stories of how you had the courage to try a few of these things with your crush this week! 😉